Bill Hicks

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.

People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.

I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.

And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it.

When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.

Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.

I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.

People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.